Not a lot of people can say that they are truly and completely happy with their life. Of course, no one can be happy all the time, but for some, feeling good is a general trend in their lives, with bouts of anger, stress or sadness just serving as a nice bit of contrast that makes the relaxed periods of happiness seem even greater. Everyone needs slightly different things in order to be happy, but most of the time, it can be boiled down to:

• Self-confidence
• Enough money to support a comfortable lifestyle
• A loving partner
• Good friends
• Competence in a particular area
• A meaningful activity to devote time to

These things are listed in no particular order, but they are all very important. I’’m not going to sugarcoat this – in order to get these things, we need to make some big life changes. Here are the toughest and most effective changes you need to consider.

1. Stop procrastinating and use your free time wisely

While it may feel like taking several hours or even a couple of days to just sit around will help you reduce stress, it can actually make you feel more stressed out and slightly depressed in the long run. This is simply because you will allow problems and obligations to accumulate, and then you’ll have to rush things, get anxious about deadlines and beat yourself up for not making the changes you wanted to.

You have to deal with procrastination effectively. Whenever you have some free time on your hands, do something useful – clean up your house, learn a new language or fast typing, read some books, take up rock climbing – anything that is useful and interesting.

2. Start working on creating a strong and healthy body

A lean and strong body can be a big source of confidence and pride, but it also means that you will be healthier and tougher. With good posture and regular exercise, you can say goodbye to all the small aches and pains, your immune system will improve and you will be less likely to get hurt. As you improve your energy levels will go up and you will develop a strong will power and good work ethics as well.

You can start off simple, with a basic diet and exercise program to get a beach body using a well-paced progression and sound methods, then once you reach your goals, you can work on maintenance.

3. Take control of your emotions and learn to let go of grudges

A lot of those bad situations we find ourselves in, like harsh fights where bad things are said, bad mouthing someone or even getting into physical altercations – can be avoided with some basic impulse control. Taking a few seconds to readjust your thoughts, do some deep breathing and adopt a less aggressive demeanor and tone can help you avoid a disaster. Many people ruin relationships, get into problems and get into brawls because they can’t stay calm and collected enough to talk the other person down and find a more peaceful solution.

Holding grudges and constantly reminding a partner or friend about a minor slight is not healthy, and nurturing hate only takes up extra neurons in your brain that could be put to better use. Let go of the little things and remember to calm yourself down during an argument before you can reason with others.

4. Develop good people skills and work on your dating game

Having an active social life is important for venting some of the stress in your life – whether you are more of the party type or the quiet type, it helps to have a group of friends that you can rely on and talk to. Show your close friends the respect they deserve and don’t neglect them, but be on the lookout for new acquaintances that can turn into good friends.

It helps if you have good people skills, which is something that can be developed through practice. Having a significant other in your life is a great way to boost your happiness and get motivated to further improve, but you’ll need to make an effort to go out and meet new people, look presentable and learn a thing or two about the complex art of seduction.

5. Learn to roll with the punches and keep getting up after you fall

The boxing analogy is quite appropriate here – dealing with difficult situations and the ensuing emotional trauma has a lot to do with your attitude and outlook on life. It is easy to fall back into a victim mentality, and although different people will need different amounts of time to deal with trauma and overcome it, you have to avoid letting it take over your life and use it as an excuse to give up.

This famous quote by Lena Horne sums it up nicely: “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it”. This is easier said than done, but adopting a survivor mentality and being a fighter will help you get through a whole lot. Never stoop down to self-pity and focus on what is to come rather than living in the past.

These changes will require constant work and improvement, which a lot of people don’t like, but no one said that attaining happiness was going to be easy. It may take you a while to adjust to the new lifestyle, so make sure you are ready for a bit of discomfort.