Is This a Safe Date?
Online dating has become extremely popular which makes it all the more reason to check out an online date thoroughly. Online dating sites are popping up everywhere and are claiming great success at match making. They probably have some great success stories but there are probably some horror stories they arent telling you about. If you use one of these services, how do you know if theyve matched you with Mr. or Ms. Right or if you drew Mr. or Ms. So Wrong for You? The good thing is, the services conduct background checks on their clients. But do you know what kind of background checks were run and how thorough the checks were. They may be one of those you get what you pay for scenarios where the more expensive services do a better job with background checks. Thats not necessarily always true because even the best dating services can miss things in background checks. The bottom line is you cant just trust the dating services recommendation. Thats why you should check out your online date thoroughly.
Who Are You?
When you get matched with a date through an online dating service the obvious question on your dates mind is Who are you? Youre probably thinking the same thing. The dating service personality profile can only tell you so much. Its only natural for people to try to make themselves look as good as possible on dating profiles but a dating profile can only tell you so much. This is why you have to do your background check on your match to find out Who are you?
Searches can range anywhere from picking up on verbal and physical cues to criminal investigative background checks. Lets start with some ways to check out a person that are simple and free.
1. Listen for verbal indicators that give you an idea of what kind of person youre dealing with. For example, a person that only talks about his or herself may be self absorbed and not ready to meet your needs. On the other hand, a silver-tongued devil may lay on the sweet talk so thick that you get stuck to the sofa. Dont make a judgment based solely on these cues unless its painfully obvious that this is not Mr. or Ms. Right. Try to dig deeper and get a good picture of the entire person if possible.
2. Try double dating with a close friend that will tell you the truth. Get their opinion of your date and compare it to yours. If your friend is objective they wont be as emotionally involved as you are and may be able to see the situation in a better light than you do.
3. A persons true colors will come out given enough time so take it slow and get to know the real man or woman. Most people have a public and private persona. You want to know the public and private persona of the person the online dating service feels is a match for you. Think of this as the Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde test. The trick is to do this before you spend time alone with your date.
4. Dont get pushed or pulled into a relationship faster or further than you want to go. The desire to make a relationship work can make you blind to warning signs. You cant afford to ignore these signs. For example, if a person is planning your wedding after the first or second date, that could be a sign that things are going too far too fast.
Intuition or Gut Feeling
If youre suspicious of your date or if you just dont feel comfortable, you should end the relationship immediately. In some cases you may feel safer hiring a private investigator to do a background check for you. You have to decide if you can afford to do that or if you can afford not to do it. The bottom line is you have to trust your intuition or gut feeling after youve done everything you can to check out your online date thoroughly.