Christmas Time Should Bring Happy Moments and Not Tears

Christmas is suppose to be one of the happiest times of the year. For my family it has been a bit of a heartache. I guess I should start from the beginning, it all started with a sweet little boy named Ronan. He was my miracle in life, he brought great happiness to all the lives that he touched. Ronan accomplished a lot in his short one month and nine days here on earth. It all started with a baby doctor telling me that I could never get pregnant and being so rude as to say ‘well you could always adopt’, and shooing me out of his office. I have two wonderful step-sons that I think of as my own and I just wanted to experience the whole bringing a life into this world process. So anyhow back on topic, I cried and cried for several months and prayed like crazy and it happened I was pregnant with a precious little boy. I carried him for 24 weeks and they had to deliver him via c-section, because of severe pre-eclampsia. My whole world started falling apart, he was born on August 2nd 2009 and died on September 11th 2009. He died from N.E.C, and it was horrible. I thought I would never be able to move on from that point in my life. He was all I ever wanted, so I thought, until Ronan the guardian angel smiled down upon us. My husband and I thought that we would try it one last time, and low and behold little Willow came to be. She had to spend 5 months in the same N.I.C.U. as Ronan one year later, and even had the same wonderful surgeon as he did. Except this time it was very different, Willow came in at 7 lbs 9 ozs, and was and still is as stubborn as her mommy. She had to under go two lung surgeries and because she was on a vent for so long, she had to have a g-tube placed for eating. Thank you God for good doctors and our precious guardian angel Ronan. Willow went into surgury with her special angel holding her hand, because she was smiling the whole way. Two years later I still have Ronan to thank for helping to bring Willow into this world. Although she could never replace Ronan, she does bring forth happiness and a huge smile to my face everyday. It is hard to celebrate the holidays with a precious family memeber missing in action, however Ronan gave me the best gift ever, the true understading of love, strength and family. The holidays have better meaning now that I get to share them with Ronan’s little sister and big brothers (she is doing great and is perfectly healthy and normal). This just proves that old saying ‘never take anything for granted’, you never know how long it will last. So get out there and truly engross yourself in family and the true Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas to all!!!