An estimated 1 in 25 people have what psychologists call malignant narcissism. This means they follow their own rules, trampling upon the needs of others. They use and abuse people, oblivious to any pain they may cause. They have no empathy and no sense of shame.
However, they aren’t crazy in the classical sense. That’s because they know exactly what they’re doing. Oftentimes, they like to set up elaborate scenarios to watch others suffer. Then, when it all unfolds, they sit back and enjoy the play they’ve just scripted.
Anyone who’s dealt with a malignant narcissist knows what I’m talking about. However, other people don’t. If you try to tell them, chances are they won’t believe you.
Malignant narcissists are very clever. Only you, as their target, can see the hideous actions behind the mask of sanctity they show to the rest of the world. These very disturbed individuals go to great lengths to convince everyone else they are kind and benevolent.
This is how malignant narcissists are able to operate under the radar. If everybody could see through the exterior, and catch a glimpse of the dark soul underneath, they’d run far and fast in the other direction.
This is why targets of malignant narcissists have such a difficult time finding support. If they confide in someone else, they run the risk of not being believed, or even being labeled as the problem. This only compounds the frustration, when one of these adult bullies chooses to make your life miserable.
A Malignant Narcissist Operates Underhandedly
It’s never a level playing field when you’re engaged with a malignant narcissist. That’s because the narcissist is a master at deception and perception. Before you realize you’ve become her target, she will have already strategically undermined you. This is typically done with gossip and slander. She’s already turned the people who should be supporting you against you.
Once this happens, there is virtually no recourse. It’s unfortunate a lot of people can’t think for themselves, but human nature can be weak. It’s a lose/lose situation. If you try to complain, about how you’re being treated, you probably won’t be treated with sympathy or understanding. You may even be told that you need to start changing your own behavior.
Mirrored Accusations by the Malignant Narcissist
What is the narcissist saying about you? A good guess would be that they accuse you of exactly what they’re doing. If they’re trying to sow discord among a group of people, it’s a pretty good guess that this is what the rest of the group assumes you’re doing.
People with personality disorders, such as malignant narcissist, often accuse you of doing the exact same thing they’re guilty of. This is very effective, because it diverts people’s attention from where it should be.
The Disbelief Factor
Most of us assume that others think like them and play by the same rules. That’s why it’s so difficult for others to get their minds around the fact that someone else can be so deceptive. Some of the tactics used by malignant narcissists are so ghastly that it’s difficult for a normal person to comprehend how someone is capable of committing so much evil, when they seem so nice.
This is why, if you find yourself at odds with a malignant narcissist, some of your best resources for support will be found online. There are also a number of good books on malignant narcissism.