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How to Lose Your Job by Getting Fired: Five Ways to Get Fired

Do you hate your job? Are you looking for a way out? If you are looking for ways to get on your boss’s bad side and get yourself fired, here are five tongue-in-cheek ways to lose your job by getting fired.

Five Ways to Get Fired & Lose Your Job

1. Don’t Show Up for Work

Ignore Your Schedule — Call in sick to work frequently, show up late, take long lunches, go for frequent smoke and coffee breaks, and leave work early as often as possible. There is no better way to show your employer you don’t want to stay at your job than by not showing up, and soon you won’t have to show up for work at all!

2. Spend Time with Other Employees Instead of Customers

Ignore the Customers — Spend your time talking to your coworkers, fraternize with fellow employees, and ignore the customers. If you ignore your clients enough, it won’t be long before you won’t have to deal with customers… or work… at all.

3. Bully Your Coworkers

Intimidate Your Fellow Employees — Bully and intimidate your fellow employees to show them who is the boss. Glare at people you don’t like. Try to intimidate your coworkers with your body language and by getting into their personal space. If that doesn’t work, bump, shove, push, and get physical. This will ensure you are soon pushed and shoved out the door.

4. Be a Drama Queen at Work

Be Overly Dramatic about Everything — Turn into a basket case every time a customer or supervisor criticizes you. Don’t just get emotional when someone is actually being mean — be a drama queen anytime things don’t go your way. Whine, roll your eyes, stomp off, raise your voice, and cry, and soon you will be performing daily in the unemployment line.

5. Flirt on the Job

Flirt with Coworkers and Customers — Hang around the pretty young girls, flirting and exchange sexual banter. Hang all over the handsome guys. Force your attention on coworkers and with groping hugs. Even if your attentions are welcome, job romances are never a good idea. Don’t confine your attentions to coworkers; ask the customers out, too. Soon your attorney will be groping your wallet as he attempts to get you off of a sexual harassment charge.

Although these five tips on getting fired and losing your job are meant to be humorous, hopefully they will serve as a reminder NOT to bring these behaviors to the workplace. Unfortunately, some managers are as guilty of these behaviors as regular associates. For more workplace tips, see:

  • What Makes an Employee Disgruntled? Poor Management Decisions
  • What Makes an Employee Disgruntled? Poor Management Types

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