Watch Out for a Romantic ‘Sting’
‘The Sting’ was a popular movie which came out in 1973 about two charming, handsome, professional grifters (Paul Newman and Robert Redford) who are planning to swindle a mob boss. However, you only have to watch the news to hear how often real scam artists take advantage of ordinary people, especially the handicapped, the elderly and single women.
A scam is not as charming in real life as ‘The Sting’ movie. Lonely, vulnerable women are often targeted by con men claiming a romantic interest, but these con artists are actually looking for money (or sex), not a relationship. These con men target women at bars, singles clubs, sometimes churches, and especially online looking for a woman to take advantage of. If you think your boyfriend might be a con artist, or if your friends are warning you your boyfriend is trying to scam or swindle you, these tips should help you find out if you are dating a con man.
Top 10 Ways to Tell if You Are Dating a Con Artist
1. Let Your Family & Friends Meet Your Boyfriend
Introduce your date to your friends and family watch how he interacts with your family and friends. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to spend time with the important people in your life, even for special occasions or family events, that should warn you there might be a problem.
2. Listen to Your Friends and Family
If you are over 21, you are probably old enough to decide whom you want to date. However, if the people who know you best and love you the most are sensing warning signals, you need to take a serious look at those potential problems.
3. Meet His Family & Friends
Just as it is important to introduce your boyfriend to your loved ones, it is vitally important to meet his loved ones. A common maneuver for a con artist is to say he has no family and no close friends nearby. Romantic con artists tend to work alone or with just 1 or 2 associates, because they either don’t want their family to know what they are up to, or their family has already disowned them.
4. Verify His Claims
If your boyfriend seems too good to be true, whatever story he is telling you may NOT be true. If he drops big names of famous clients; talks about big businesses he worked for; hints at previous exciting/glamorous jobs: his heroic career in the military, CIA or police; if he talks about his wealth — ask for proof. If he seems too good to be true and offers no proof, Google his name on the internet and see what you find.
5. Beware of Falsehoods
If your love interest makes promises and doesn’t keep them, if he can’t keep his facts straight and his stories frequently change but he tries to convince you that you are mistaken, he is a scam artist having problems keeping his story straight, because part or all of his story IS NOT TRUE.
6. Be Honest with Your Boyfriend
Honesty is a two-way street. Be honest about yourself, and also be honest about any questions, doubts or fears you have. If you think your boyfriend is pushy or evasive, tell him so. If he loves you, he will be open about his past and present.
7. Beware of Guilt Trips & Anger
If your boyfriend responds to questions with anger or by trying to make you feel guilty, he is probably hiding something. If he makes you feel like you need to prove your love to him, that is a normal procedure for a con man who wants your money, jewelry, or property. If the attention and compliments he paid you in the beginning of your relationship have turned into control and anger, that is a bad sign. If he often tells you that he never said something or that you misunderstood him,
8. Beware of Pushiness & Control
If he begins to act in a controlling fashion, tries to rush you into marriage, or tries to separate you from your loved ones, that is a definite warning that he has ulterior motives. Don’t be afraid to take some control and set some boundaries in your relationship.
9. Watch Out for Fake Tears
If your love interest tells you a sob story after you catch him in a lie, or to cover up why he has no family or job, he is playing the victim. Nothing is his fault — it’s always someone else’s fault — he’s just the innocent victim. The world has done him wrong, so the world owes him.
10. Be Prepared for Threats or Character Assassination
A con man can’t have you walking around telling the truth about him. Just like everyone else was the villain in the sob stories he told you, you are about to become the villain in this one. He will either disappear to start over elsewhere, or he will try to scare you into keeping your mouth shut, or most likely, he will simply lie about you and try to make everyone think you are unstable and that whatever happened was all your fault.
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Protect Yourself from a Con Artist or Scam.