I hate Valentine's day and here is why…no I am not single!

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I have a very deep personal reason for not liking Valentine’s day, and this is what happened to make that hatred of the day. When I was 19 years old, I was pregnant with my first child, a baby boy. I was so excited and could not wait to be a family. I found out he was a boy at the beginning of January, but then on the 30th January, I was sat eating a curry and watching television with my husband, I was 23 weeks pregnant. All of a sudden I really needed to use the bathroom, so I went upstairs. I was not in any pain or discomfort, so was extremely shocked to see a very big amount of blood, bright bright red. I screamed and my husband decided to get me to the hospital.

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After what seemed like days but was still disgustingly long enough, I was seen by a registrar and told that I should stay in hospital for the next 3 weeks or so. It was not for another 2 days that they scanned me and found a blood clot sat behind the placenta, the cause of the bleeding. I also have placenta praevia, which means the placenta was low lying. I was in utter terror by then, and wass convinced that I would spend the next 15 – 17 weeks in hospital, ( if only!). It quickly went from a recommendation of stopping in for 3 weeks, to being sent home after 3 days, they needed the beds. I had gone in on the Saturday night and was send home on the Tuesday afternoon. Once home I was so scared I stayed in bed, only getting up to walk 5 feet to the bathroom. My husband would bring me a sandwich and drink up in the morning, ready for lunch. On the Thursday 3rd February, I started getting bad pains and went to bed doubled over, I thought I would wait for my husband to get home, I was not thinking straight and I was so cold. I put the heating on, my dressing gown and cocooned myself in my duvet. I was later to find out that what had happened was the placenta was pulling away from the wall and I was going in to physical shock because of the pain. When a woman has a placental abruption, the contractions are not irregular but they are a constant contraction with no rest, the stomach goes concrete, increasing intensity and pain. There was mysteriously no blood however.

I here you ask if this woman even knows when Valentine’s day is, seeing as I am up to the 3rd February, but that was just the day my poor little son was born sleeping. The hospital chaplain came to see me and gave him a blessing and we arranged a funeral. The date that came back was Valentine’s day, 4 days before my 20th birthday and a whole 11 days after the birth.

On Valentine’s day when the world is in love with itself and people are forced to make romantic gestures of red roses and chocolates, I woke up with a foreboding that this was the last thing I would ever do as a mother for this son. I had family to see to that had arrived from 200 miles away, and everyone around me was crying, I strangely just had one thought in my head, ‘ I am going to be near my son again’. When we got to the Cemetary and I saw the little white coffin being handed to my husband I broke, I just cried and cried until I forgot everything but my baby, my husband and myself, it was as if no one else was there.

A year later came and so did his first birthday and the next Valentine’s day, just before my 21st birthday. I could not bare the idea of being all romantic and forced in to being lustful on a day I wanted to curl up and die, right next to my baby, so I went to spend time with him by his graveside instead.

Valentine’s day is commercial rubbish

St Valentine did indeed exist and was executed on February 14th 269AD or possibly 270AD, but whilst he was made a Saint and patron of affianced couples, love, engaged couples, marriages. He was also just used as a usurper to the old ways. The old Pagan ways had a celebration on the 15th February every year in celebration of a Godess called Februata Juno, and making 14th February St Valentine’s day so as to get rid of the Pagan celebrations. This was being done across the whole year’s Pagan celebrations.

It was not until the 19th century that card and gift giving on Valentine’s day was popular, and not until the middle of the 19th century that it became mass produced.

As the world becomes harder to please, the gifts become more extravagent. What about people who do not want a day just for lovers?

Not everyone wants to have a Valentine’s day

Quite a few single people hate having other people’s love thrust in to their face on Valentine’s day, and it is not as if they can even avoid and ignore it. Remember me stating about the first anniversary of my son’s funeral, well I wass working then, and I walked on to my call centre floor, just holding it together, only to be faced very sharply with a 30 foot arrangement of helium filled balloons in the shape of a heart. That wass it I cracked, I could have burst every single balloon if I would have got away with it. How dare people thrust that in to my face!

There are plenty of people who hate or at least dislike Valentine’s day.

  • People who have lost a partner recently. Why would they want a special day reminding them twice as much of the pain they go through every day? Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.
  • Other’s feel that they should have money to buy expensive gifts, but feel guilty at the fact they can not afford to do so.
  • Some parents hate being forced to buy rubbish for their children because they have a sweetheart that will not be around in a month.
  • People who are depressed do not need another excuse ass to why they are so much more miserable than the rest of society, which is just a commercial lie anyway.
  • How many people think it is a good idea to get married on Valentine’s day? Aww romantic, until that day reminds you of your divorce and the fact that you are now on your tod on the ‘most romantic ‘ day of the year.

Call me a miser, call me a grump, but Valentine’s day is a load of gumpf. I would rather be spontaneous and cook a romantic meal in the midst of Autumn because I feel like it, not because a card manufacturer demanded I do so!

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I hate Valentine's day and here is why…no I am not single!, Seekyt
General Contributor
Janice is a writer from Chicago, IL. She created the "simple living as told by me" newsletter with more than 12,000 subscribers about Living Better and is a founder of Seekyt.