Borderline personality disorder, narcissism and sociopaths are all terms that are frequently on the tongue of a person who is in a relationship with a man or woman who makes it difficult to predict what they will experience with them from one day to next. No one can diagnose a narcissist or an individual with another type of personality disorder without having some sort of training or experience in dealing with these personalities.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to go from one extreme to the other. One minute they are madly in love with you and are showering you with gifts. The next minute, they hate you and are very abusive towards you.
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Men and women with BPD also exhibit the following signs:
- They are consistently impulsive, to the point of irrationality
- Their emotions in relationships and feelings about the other person constantly seem to fluctuate
- They have problems with substance abuse
Some therapists think that people with borderline personality disorder develop this way of coping as a response to a parent who is narcissistic. They also think that narcissistic people seek out partners who are BPD and vice versa.
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Narcissism is not exactly rare in the population either. In fact, quite a number of people have one or two of the traits that full blown narcissists display. If you feel that you are in a rocky relationship despite your best efforts and are not quite sure why, you would probably benefit from counseling.
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People tend to shy away from speaking to a counselor. For one, counselors arent free. Most of the time, you have to pay them for their time. For couples who may already b facing financial difficulty, this is one of the things that make them decide against going to counseling, even when they recognize that they are in need of help.
If you want to speak to someone, contact your local church, mosque or other religious organization. Quite often, your pastor or religious leader can direct you to a trained counselor who offers their services at an affordable rate or even free. In some cases a pastor or religious leader you or someone else knows may be fully trained in psychotherapy and can provide assistance to you.
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There are many ways to be happy in your relationship with a person with BPD. For example, you will need to maintain strong boundaries. A trained counselor will never tell you what to do. Only you can make the decision that is right for you. However they will provide you with options and help you to look at your situation from a different perspective, providing objectivity and support where necessary.