If you find most of your ‘downtime’, that is when you’re just doing nothing, are reflections on the Past, you have a serious problem. A problem you have to solve by letting go. By slamming the door, turning your back, and looking to the future.
we’ve all met the fifty seven year old woman who will, as if it’s necessary, tell you how she was abused as a child. And no doubt, (unless that is you) think; ‘Who cares?’ or, ‘Why is she telling me this?’ And if you spend any time with her, whether being forced or as a choice, you can’t help to wonder; if she was alive and living for the past fifty years or has stopped the clock.
We’ve all met the guy who will tell you about his ex-wife as if the ink on the divorce hasn’t dried yet, then learn that Decree was granted twenty years ago.
What happened between the Divorce and this minute?
These people stopped living and spend their days wallowing in the past, missing everything that is going on around them. They have mired themselves in the past.
Most of us aren’t that bad.
We’ve moved on and created our future and might only reflect on an incident or another but are living here and now. Sometimes we might have done something which slammed the door on ‘then’ and now, ten, twenty, thirty years later we want to ‘go back’ to see what has happened.
This is a mistake, and will prove a mistake.
Whenever you leave somewhere; be it your family, your neighbourhood, a job, don’t think you can ever go back without trauma.
Those who remain may use you as the reason for their inadequacies. Just as the woman needs that abuse to explain why she is a failure, and that man needs to bash his ex-wife to make him feel better, many people can’t admit that what happened between then and now is their responsibility. That you can not be responsible for what happened during your absence.
By reappearing you may have kicked out the struts on which their argument stands, and so they might just turn on you and blame you for things you never did, things you couldn’t have done.
Let go of the Past and think of tomorrow, it is a lot safer.