Parents Surviving Puberty

Puberty is a difficult and confusing time for both children and parents. Teenagers think they are old enough to make decisions on their own, while parents try to keep the pace with their children’s behaviour knowing exactly what they are going through. They try to be their guides through well-known problems, although kids think they don’t need they any help from their parents. Unfortunately, this vicious circle will go on for several years, with children trying to do everything they want, and parents realizing that their ‘honeys’ are already grown up people, ready to take care of themselves.

Why so serious?

It is possible that, in some situations, puberty looks very serious (especially after exhausting loud arguments with your children, when you will probably be wondering where you did wrong), but after it’s all over it will seem silly to both of you. Teenagers cannot control their emotions very well and their brain cannot think about consequences, so they will say things they do not mean and aggravate you. Fights are bound to happen and it’s about what you do after the fight that matters. When the hormones die down in a couple of years you will forget the reasons and remember the comical hand gestures, the gentle and good times.

Good communication

Remember when you were young how everybody would brush off you’re your opinions and how angry that made you feel. No matter how insignificant a problem may seem to you it’s important to your kids so listen and validate them. You need your children to trust you if you want them to share their thoughts and feelings. If they see that their voice is being heard they will listen to you as well. You’ll need to talk to them about common problems of adolescents – drugs, religious sects, contraception and many others. Try to get to know your children well in order to find out what bothers them. In practice, the point of absolute trust between kids and parents is not easy to achieve due to the time gap between generations. However, it doesn’t mean it is impossible. What you need is a good strategy. For instance, if your children listen to r’n’r –buy them CDs of their favourite bends and listen to them together (even it isn’t your favourite music genre). You can also get a home theatre installation, and watch the newest movies in 3D or play video games. This way, they will trust your opinion more when it comes to more serious things, so it will be easier for you to hold the line when it is truly needed.

Family vacations

At first, your children might think you are taking them to another boring family vacation, but after they come back they will tell all their friends how cool their parents are and how great it was. Just imagine paragliding or going down the giant aquatic trampoline with your children. You can record everything with a go pro camera to remember these moments for a long time. Raise your level of adrenaline and you will feel younger too. In case this is too drastic, you can enjoy camping in nature and sharing intimate moments beside a campfire.

If you manage to achieve that your children think of you as a friend who wishes them only well, authority (in a good way) will come along. It’s important to make your children feel safe, making them feel like their opinion matters will only get them to trust you and your advice.