News Thanksgiving Quotes, Sayings and Jokes

Thanksgiving Quotes, Sayings and Jokes

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Historically, Thanksgiving began as a tradition of celebrating the harvest of the year. It is primarily celebrated in the United States of America and Canada. The celebration of this holiday became an inspiration to hundreds of Thanksgiving quotes, sayings and jokes, which can be found all over the web. In my opinion, this short list of Thanksgiving quotes, sayings and jokes presents the best of them, but if you have interesting ones to share, you can do so in the comments below.

Thanksgiving Funny Quotes & Jokes

#1:

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.’

(Ambrose Bierce,The Devil’s Dictionary)

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#2:

‘Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving.’

(Mike Connolly)

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‘An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.’

(Irv Kupcinet)

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#3:

It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with ‘gourmet’ status.

(Russell Baker)

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#4:

Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?

A: He was very thinkful.

(Anonymous)

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#5:

Q: In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated?

A: Turkey.

(Anonymous)

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#6:

Sally Brown: What’s the matter, big brother?
Charlie Brown: Nothing. I was just checking the mailbox.
Sally Brown: What did you expect, a turkey card?’

(Charlie Brown Memorable Quotes)

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#7:
Patricia ‘Peppermint Patty’ Reichardt:

What kind of Thanksgiving dinner is this? Where’s the turkey, Chuck? Don’t you know anything about Thanksgiving dinners? Where’s the mashed potatoes? Where’s the cranberry sauce? Where’s the pumpkin pie?

(Charlie Brown Memorable Quotes)

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#8:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’ The stock boy answered, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’

(Anonymous)

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#9:

Q: Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

A: Yes – a building can’t jump at all.

(Anonymous)

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#10:

Asked to write a composition entitled: What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving, little Timothy wrote, ‘I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

(Anonymous)

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#11:

Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

A: God save the kin.

(Anonymous)

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#12:

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
‘Please let me in,’ says the man desperately. ‘I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.
‘Okay,’ says the butcher. ‘Let me see what I have left.’

He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
‘That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?’ says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
‘Oh, no,’ says the man, ‘That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!’

(Anonymous)

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Inspirational Thankgiving Quotes, Proverbs & Sayings

#1:

‘If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.’

(Meister Eckhart)

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#2:

‘If we meet someone who owes us thanks, we right away remember that.

But how often do we meet someone to whom we owe thanks without remembering that?’

(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)

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#3:

‘Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.’

(Robert Caspar Lintner)

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#4:

‘Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.’

(Edward Sandford Martin)

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#5:

‘Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I’d like to express my thanks.’

(Irving Berlin)

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#6:

‘Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.’

(William Arthur Ward)

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#7:

‘We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.’

(Harry A. Ironside)

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#8:

‘Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.’

(Estonian proverb)

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#9:

‘We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.’

(Cynthia Ozick)

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#10:

‘A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.’

(Kin Hubbard)

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#11:

‘Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.’

(Uknown author)

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#12:

‘Some people complain because God put thorns on roses,
while others praise Him for putting roses among thorns.’

(Anonymous)

Thanksgiving Quotes, Sayings and Jokes

More quotes, sayings and verses:

Christmas Card Messages

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For more Thanksgiving quotes, sayings and jokes, recipes, articles and ideas,

please visit the Cyber Thanksgiving Party at Seekyt.

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Thanksgiving Quotes, Sayings and Jokes
General Contributor
Janice is a writer from Chicago, IL. She created the "simple living as told by me" newsletter with more than 12,000 subscribers about Living Better and is a founder of Seekyt.

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