News The Best Blonde Jokes

The Best Blonde Jokes


Blonde jokes have been around for many years. Some say that they started to hit popularity in the 50’s and 60’s because of Marilyn Monroe, who is one of the most famous blonds ever. She acted the part of a dizzy blonde in several of the movies she was on.

Everyone knows a few blonde jokes. Blonde jokes are also easy to tell, so almost everyone can tell them correctly.

There are blonde jokes for each generation. I have heard modern blonde jokes which include modern inventions such as computer, i-pad,s ,i-phones, and etc. All generation love blonde jokes. Even Blondes.

I have two daughters who love to tell blondes jokes. One is a blonde, the other a redhead. So of course my younger daughter, who is a redhead loves to tease my older blonde daughter with blonde jokes. My older daughter loves the jokes, too. She admits, at times, that she is so blonde.

One of best things about blonde jokes is that everyone knows that is just humor and no one ever gets offended by them. Blondes have eve come up with anti-blonde jokes, such as the last one that I have to get back on non-blondes and men.

So for the fun of it, please enjoy the following blondes, which many, are favorites of our family.

How do you drown a blonde? – Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool.

What did the blonde say after her boyfriend blew into her ear? – Thanks for the recharge

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? – Wave to her.

Two blondes were locked out of the car. It started to rain and the blondes were upset because they had left the top down.

Why did the blonde wear a hoodie and a ski jacket while she painted her house? The directions said to put on two coats.

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: ‘Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don’t understand.’ ‘What did you not understand ?’ asks her boyfriend. And the blonde says: ‘Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it’s just a quarter!’

What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? – You always hear about them but you never see them.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? – They think their picture is being taken.

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. ‘Six please’ she said, ‘I could never eat twelve!’

While did the blonde keep going outside to her mailbox? – Her computer kept saying that she had mail.

A blonde and a lawyer played a game of question and answers on a plane flight. The lawyer agreed to pay her $50 if he didn’t know the answer, and she would pay him $5 when she did not know the answer. The blonde starts out first and asks, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down the hill with four?’ The lawyer thinks for a while then hands over fifty dollars to the blonde. After a few minute, still wondering, he asks the blonde. ‘So what does go up a hill will three legs, but comes back with four?’ The blonde reaches in her purse and pays the lawyer five dollars.

Did you hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory. – She was fired for throwing away the ones with W’s on them.

How do you confuse a blonde? – Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. – Why does it work? – ‘Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?’

What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen? – Far-from-thinkin

What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? – ‘Oh look! Donut seeds!’

What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? – A blonde going through a flashing red light.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? – She moved.

What did the blonde say when she walked into a bar? – Ouch!

And the best blonde joke:

Why are blonde jokes so short? – So Brunettes can remember them!

The Best Blonde Jokes
General Contributor
Janice is a writer from Chicago, IL. She created the "simple living as told by me" newsletter with more than 12,000 subscribers about Living Better and is a founder of Seekyt.

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