Never have I been made to feel life to be so meaningless,
and every racing thought in my mind in such a tangled mess.
Morning after morning I wake up wishing I was not,
knowing I must put on a smile like a meaningless robot.
When we first got together I would literally do anything for you,
I wanted you to always feel good physically and never feel blue.
But when do I get that kind of devotion and sense of feeling good,
and without it turning into a fight over you doing what you should?
All I ever wanted was to be loved, held, and appreciated,
yet all I have felt is resented, blamed and hated.
We can say that we can start over, and have with a clean slate,
but I have been hurt so bad, many times I think it may be too late.
I feel like a fool for trying so hard every time before,
when nothing ever changes until I walk out the door.
Even then, it never really stays that way for long,
yet, I still some how believe ‘this time’ I could be wrong.
I want us to be able to become tangled up in each other,
not have us make constant hurtful jabs at one another.
I want it to be like it used to be, full of innocence,
a sense of love and passion for each other so intense.
Maybe, just maybe, it really can be like that again, if not better.
We know each other well now, so there is nothing we can’t weather.
We just have to both want better, not just pretend the past is gone.
Sure we cannot live in the past, but it is the past we must work on?
The future depends a lot on you, I cannot be the strong one this time,
I have been there for you, but I need your help with this uphill climb.
I want to let the hurt go, but I just cannot forget how I have felt,
all this is going on in my mind, yet in your arms I still melt.