We all know what it’s like to be that unruly teen, but why do we act this way? For generations, the attitudes of teens have been an on going struggle for parents, but parents, don’t you find an awful a lot of resemblance between you or your husband in your kid? Exactly, you do. That is what we like to call Behavioral Genetics. Did you know, a human being has 46 Genes, as a larger unit called Chromosomes, 23 from your mother and 23 from your father. Scientific Researchers as well as Psychologist have been having some trouble differentiating two factors. The first asking themselves do we act the way we do because we get it from our parents- Behavioral Genetics. Others are asking themselves are we acting the way we are because of the society we live in? Now you can form your own opinion from what you think may be true, for this article is not about who thinks which. This article is to help you understand each other.
I know, I know. You can’t wait to be eighteen so you can go and do whatever you want. Party from Sun up to Sun down, Get your own crib, stay out as late as you want, you name it. So, you move out. Now this is where it starts, whether you can get your own place, meaning you have been saving up money to afford this, or you go bumming off of your best friends parents couch. No one can tell you what to do because momma always use to say “as long as your under my roof.” But you don’t realize how many times your mother spent crying because you were just too stubborn and because she worried about you. Or the Times when your Dad was hard on you because he seen the potential lying beneath your core waiting to ascend through your bitterness and childish actions. Or the nights they both spent arguing and it was in your best interest. Parents don’t enjoy having to get on to you and to fuss you or punish you. Its in your best interest. There job is to make sure you are safe and secure. To make sure that when they are gone, you will be set up that you do not need anyone’s help because you can handle your own business.
You know when your parents say things like “you’ll understand when you get older” Or “when you pop out a 8lb kid with the size of your head, you’ll know what I mean” ? It couldn’t be anything else but true. Because once you spent sleepless nights just trying to make that newborn baby just relax and calm down, changing diapers twenty times a day, etc, you begin to appreciate your parents more. Teens, do not try to be older than what you actually are. Your parents don’t expect you to be picture perfect, they just want you to succeed, preferably while they’re still here. Its not easy being a parent. You think you got it rough because your missing a paycheck from a company you’ve been with for three months? Ever thought how your mother has been a stay at home mom tending to your dirty diapers, drool, laundry, breakfast, lunch, and dinner and how she does everything for you while your dad has been at the same job for the past 30 years working from 5am till midnight to keep a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food in your stomach only making minimum wage while your mother’s actions go unappreciated from her kids and doesn’t get a dime much less a thank you? And even though they may not be the richest, they are happy and content. Open your eyes and realize that you have chores to teach you responsibility and discipline. You get an allowance because you earned it, just don’t be fooled an think they have to give that to you. Having an allowance, license, car, animal, friends come over are all called Privileges. Meaning nothing is set in stone, your parents just really love you. Every time you get cocky with them and wanna pop off at the mouth, just remember who birthed you and kept you alive and well for this long. Start showing some gratitude.
Now, lets be honest, we can’t only blame the children, after all, the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Your teen may be acting out to get a closer connection with you. Maybe they’re having problems at school or in there relationships. Whatever it is, do not be afraid to talk to your kid. They want to be able to say, “yeah, thats my mom!” No matter what. All they look for is your approval. To show that you care. Don’t let your kids try and push you around or walk all over you. When I got out of line, my mother told me very firmly, “I brought you into this world and I can take you out!” And yes she was dead serious. You are not a bad parent, and you do not have a bad kid. Everyone deals with situations similar, this is just a part of life. Moms, stop being so over protecting when your kid is moved out..or old enough that they need to move out. The more you baby them, the more they expect being treated like a baby. Dads, stop being so hard on your sons because you want them to be just like there pops, be a role model and do what you preach.
Lets say you have a daughter and a son. A lot of times when you have both, you tend to treat them differently. Its a whole “You need to be a man and handle your business and party while your young” then we turn to our little girl and say “you can’t start dating until you’re older than me!” Why do we do that? If you won’t let one date- – DONT LET THE OTHER! It breaks your kids heart to feel like their sibling is better than them. Parents you also need to appreciate your kids. Just because you’re older, doesn’t mean your kids can’t teach you a few things or two either. You don’t need to be there best friend, just be there for them. If you’re having problems, talk it out. There is nothing that your bond can’t fix. Both need to learn how to communicate to build a strong and healthy relationship.