Whatever it is, the Answer is No

As you go through life people will hate you without a cause. Some have a cause, sure, but some, for no reason you can imagine just take one look at you and hate you.

You can lie on a psychiatrists couch and discuss it if makes you feel better, or you can use it to your advantage.

Let me give you an example. Pharaoh and his wife despised me. My breathing was probably denying them the best air.

Although I tried to be nice and cheerful it didn’t help. They continued to hate me.

Knowing that anything I asked the answer would be no, I asked for something so horrible that I wouldn’t blame you for pulling back from the computer and staring.

What was it?

A woman who lived in the next flat had died. For six weeks her flat remained as she had left it. So I said to Pharaoh,

“You know, she may have items of historical significance. Maybe me and Shorty should go through her things?”

Shorty (who is 6′ 5″ and about 300 lbs.) would have mudered me if my suggestion had not shocked him into zombie hood.

“No! “ Barks Pharaoh, as the last ‘s’ of “things”, emerges from my mouth.
“My wife will do that!”

“Okay.” I say brightly as Shorty placed a hand around my throat and dragged me away to dispose of the body.

“Wha the *&^*(* did you…” He stammered.

“I knew he would say ‘NO’, you were in no danger.” I reply.

He stared at me as if he’d never seen me before or was unsure of my species. However, for the next four (4) days Mrs. Pharaoh suffered. Day in, Day out, going through the items collected over 90 years encoated in six weeks of dust..

Sure it was an evil thing to do, but the fact is, when you know people hate you without reason, the least you can do is give them one.

When you know the answer is ‘No‘ you phrase your request in an appropriate manner.

“You don’t want to serve coffee, do you?”

“Of course we want to serve coffee!”

“I suppose you can paint it green…”

“No, not green.”

(You can assume I want coffee and don’t want the walls painted green)

It makes life very easy when people give you their O.S.