Why am I so fat?!’ Flaunt that flab gawjus..

Why am I so fat?!’ Flaunt that flab gawjus.. Did you know that every month, around 60,500 people type ‘Why am I so ugly and fat’ into Google. So by the looks of things, we’ve got a hell of allot of ugly, fat people…

Are you one of these outrageously hideouse people? Perhaps you spend most of your day,rolling to the fridge? Are you a valiant, repugnant seacher? Aww, well not to worry sweety. I can surely tell you how to flaunt your flab, all the way to that plus sized catwalk you’ve been dreaming about.

Work that rare, distinctive look you exquisite thing, you.

Us ‘pretty’ people are only pretty because we’re average, funny that. You however, my little grotesque being, are anything but average; you swerve away from the ‘norm’ and head straight for that sassy place of alternative, unsightly, glamour. You,my little disfigured beast, are unique. The very fact that you stand out, means that you are more memorable than most,that the very unseemly parts of you, are the very things that make you all the more, interesting than the rest of this mediocre world. Not only are you more interesting and memorable than most, but you may even find yourself being a witty, modern day Casanova! You can use this and your distinguishable apearance to create a remarkable personality.

‘if a bird can sing with a broken wing, you will learn to bend when the wind blows’

You poor ugly thing; the worst thing for you repulsive people is that you are consistantly reminded of us ‘beautiful’ people, who surround you day by day in adverts, magazines, movies, books, even people passing you on the street. Not to fret, my darling crockadillapig, you and your well distinguishable features will out shine us all! Being outrageously gorgeous isn’t everything ya’know? When you’re drop dead buffting, people tend to use you for your looks and very rarely take the time to find your smooth personality, or your sly talents; and even the beauiful will loose their enticing allure at some point or other. Then what? If you really are as hideouse as you say, then you have nothing to loose.