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Why Santa Claus Doesn't Have A Cat

The story of Santa Claus’ Cats has a happy ending, but the jolly old man and his felines went through a rough patch. It nearly wrecked Christmas.

Santa is a kindly gentleman who makes many, many gifts for children and distributes them in one wild swing around the world on Christmas Eve. It’s been said, the nice gifts are only for good children while not so nice children get only nasty stuff, like coal. Santa Claus hates that story because it’s cruel and untrue. All children, he says, are good.

Santa also believes that all cats are good. But not always good to have around. On many a lonely Christmas Eve stop, he found a cat waiting for him in a quiet and darkened house. The cats would escort him to wherever the children had left milk and cookies. And then, they’d sit for a plate of cream with him.

So, it’s no surprise how the story of Santa Claus’ cats started.

How Santa Claus Got A Cat

During his annual downtime in January, Santa saw a notice that the North Pole Humane Society was asking local people to adopt needy cats rescued from the winter’s bitter cold. He couldn’t resist.

His only problem was, when he went to the shelter, he fell in love with too many wonderful felines to chose the right one. He got Mrs. Claus to bundle up and return to help.

She helped him pick three cats.

(Here are Santa Claus’ cats exploring his back yard. Elf dormitories can be seen in the background.)

George, Billy and Sam loved the Santa Claus household, all warm and snugly, and both Santa and Mrs. Claus enjoyed feeding them, petting them and watching the cats go about their feline business.

Santa Claus’ Cats and Business Issues

The truth about cats is that they come in a whole package. You can drift in the sheer pleasure of a purring cat in your lap, for example, but soon have to adjust to his decision to sleep on your head while trying to steal your pillow.

Santa Claus’ problems with his cats were different. You see, Santa’s home is also his workshop. He along with his industrious elves put together toys and gifts in an unbelievable six month spree that ends with is packing up his sleigh and flying off for a worldwide spree on Christmas Eve.

His workshop is filled with ribbons and boxes, all eventually headed for his sack full of gifts for children. It was the boxes that got him first.

Billy, Santa Claus’ black cat spent an afternoon distracting the elves by going from box to box, searching for the best one, before settling on the one you see here.

Falling behind in production, especially with his elves unable to stop watching Billy, Santa finally picked him up in the box he selected and carried him upstairs to Mrs. Claus.

‘He’ll have to stay up here with you. The elves….’

‘What cute ornament this would make,’ Mrs. Claus, who was in charge of stocking stuffers, said.

Happy to have his problem so easily solved, Santa Claus treated himself to a cup of soup before returning to the workshop. What he saw when he returned made him forget about how wonderful the soup was.

Sam had decided that the sack he depended on so desperately for carrying all the gifts for children around the world had been taken over by Sam.

Worse yet, all the elves had stopped working to watch Sam push enough gifts out of the sack to get comfortable inside.

Here is Sam as Santa found him, nestled in his sack. And, yes, Mrs. Claus decided this would make another cute ornament.

I guess you have already guessed the, George, Santa Claus’ other cat created a problem of his own. True to form, though, George’s issue was more antic.

George loved ribbons, and before the first afternoon of work could finish with the a batch of wrapped and ribboned gifts, Santa Claus saw this:

Of course, Mrs. Claus, refusing to be ruffled, brought George upstairs with his ribbons and made yet another cute cat ornament.

One Last Problem With Santa Claus’ Cats

Imagine, if you can, three eager cats looking through a window at the elves, with their ribbons, boxes and sacks, and trying to figure out how to get back into the workshop. Even Mrs. Claus’ cat treats couldn’t distract them for long.

Now, think about how much trouble Santa Claus had with his team of elves, every one of whom, spent half the day looking up at the yearning cats and sighing.

Something had to be done.

The happy ending to this story is that Mrs. Claus set about finding alternative residences for Santa Claus’ cats during the productive season. Needless to say, she found more than enough eager takers in the elf community where George, Billy and Sam were pampered royally until Santa and the working elves could complete their seasonal labors.

On December 26th, Santa Claus happily rounded up his beloved cats and brought them home again.

If you are lucky enough to get this Christmas card, now you will know the story of how it came to be and how happy the ending was for all involved.

David Stone, Writer

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