Winding Up Hurting Yourself

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Many years ago, at university, a particular girl, (I’ll call her Cruela) hated another (Nola)  so much that she decided to throw a party to Not invite her Nemesis.

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Cruela envisioned everyone dressing up, going to the lavish venue, then coming home describing the fantastic food and the entertainment, and who was there, and Nola would be devastated.

Alas, Nola went abroad about three days before the invitations were given out and did not return until a week after the party.

Stupid Cruela didn’t know this, and came up to Nola to tell her why she wasn’t invited.  I said; “You really wasted a lot of money for nothing, Nola was at Disneyworld.”

This kind of self-destructive, expensive, attack on another often backfires.

Martin ‘hated’ his parents and wanted to ‘fix’ them.  If I tell you the facts you’ll just shake your head and possibly make a referral to a psychotherapist.

Martin’s folks lived 1000 miles away.  Every year they tried to get in touch with him for his birthday, and every year he ignored their ecards, and let them leave messages on his cell phone.

This year, he decided not to answer their calls or email as it neared his birthday.  To avoid accidents, he did not look at the email account his parents for three weeks and shut off the cell number they usually called on.

When he went to his email, there was a lot of spam, a lot of messages. Nothing from his Parents.  Nor, had they called.   They had learned their lesson and moved on with their lives.  He wasn’t he an only child.   He was the lonely child.

Don’t do things that can result in your hurting yourself in an attempt to hurt others.  Cruela bankrupted herself on a Party to Not Invite Nola, who couldn’t have come anyway.

Martin, to hurt his parents, wound up with no parents.

No matter who or what someone is in your life, if you push them away long enough they stop coming.  Even parents have lives which they may no longer wish to destroy for a child whose foundation is hate.

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Winding Up Hurting Yourself, Seekyt
General Contributor
Janice is a writer from Chicago, IL. She created the "simple living as told by me" newsletter with more than 12,000 subscribers about Living Better and is a founder of Seekyt.